Sunday, June 8, 2014

"I'm just the meanest girl ever"

Tonight we turned on some music and started dancing around the living room. Adaliah (age 4) went into her room and came out in a leotard and tutu. She walked in the room, stood on the chair and yelled,  “Light up the Night!” then proceeded to do a very animated performance with singing and dancing. While dancing she started shaking our lamp,  and in fear that she might knock it over I interrupted her song and told her to stop shaking the lamp.

Adaliah gave me a look that could kill and yelled at the top of her lungs “Fine mom! Then I’m not dancing for you ever again!”
Pete: Adaliah, we don’t talk to mom like that. Go have a time out in your room and come out when you’re ready to say sorry.

Adaliah stormed into her room.

After 10 mins or so, Adaliah still hadn’t come out so Pete went in there and had another discussion with her about how she needs to show her mom more respect. Adaliah started sobbing hysterically. Pete attempted to calm her down but gave up after a few minutes.

Me: Why is she crying?
Pete: I don’t know! She’s a girl. Don’t girls just need to cry for a while sometimes?

Usually when Adaliah is having a melt down like this (not crying in anger, but crying because she feels bad), she just needs to be held and validated in her feelings, so I went in there to do just that.

When I went into the room Adaliah ran into my arms and said sorry. I picked her up and held her on my lap.

Me: Why are you still crying Adaliah?
Adaliah (sobbing hysterically):  Because I was doing my light up the night dance, and nobody was paying attention. Nobody liked it.
Me: I was watching it! I loved it, it was beautiful. I was just worried you were going to knock the lamp over.
Adaliah: But then I was mean to you. I’m always so mean. And you guys are so upset at me.
Me: I’m not upset. You said you were sorry, and I know you’ll try to be better. I’m not upset any more.
Adaliah: Well I’m just so mean all the time. I'm just the meanest girl ever. Nobody likes me.
Me: That’s not true, We all love you. (I started listing off names of family and friends that loved her) Oh! And Abbie was so excited to see you at church today! She loves you! She thinks you’re so nice.
Adaliah: No, I’m mean to Abbie too! Remember that time when I took the pretend cake from her? That was mean! ( This literally happened almost 2 years ago- When Abbie and her mom came over to meet Elizabeth for the first time)
Me: That was a  long time ago.  Sometimes we make a mistake, that doesn’t make you a mean person. Sometimes I accidently do mean things too, but I say sorry and try not to do it again. 
Adaliah: (her sobbing now becomes more loud and hysterical) But I wanted to do a “light up the night” dance club and be the teacher. And I don’t even know how I’ll get people signed up. And  I don’t even know how I’ll have enough costumes for everyone!
Me: Oh, that sounds fun. Maybe we can talk about that in the morning, and figure out how to make that work.
Adaliah: But we’ll need to move the couches and vacuum the floor so everyone will have enough room to dance.
Me: Okay, we can do that.
Adaliah: (still sobbing) But the boys in my primary class Jack and Logan like me, but Logan and Corbin (our neighbors) don’t like me.
Me: Yes, they like you. They came over for a play date the other day and had a great time!
Adaliah: Well remember when they said that girls are  bad guys. (Again, this happened at least 18 mths ago- how does she remember this stuff?!)
Me: Well sometimes we accidently say mean things, but they said sorry. They like you Adaliah.
Adaliah:  (stops crying, doing her quick breaths) Okay. I want to stop crying now.

Wow…. She is 4 years old!! The girl drama has already begun. I can totally relate though- sometimes you just need to vent all the things that are making you upset and have a good cry. '

We sure love this little girl! I feel so lucky to be her mom. 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

"I know the gospel is real"

Last Sunday it was fast and testimony meeting. Adaliah asked Pete if she could bare her testimony. Pete told her yes, and with out much thought sent her up onto the stand all by herself.  As a mother I was horrified for her. “Did you ask her what she was going to say?” “Does she even know what she’s doing?” I asked Pete. “No- she’ll be fine” Pete answered.

Of course, I would have gone about it much differently if she would have asked me. I would have been very hesitant, and would have spent a few minutes coaching her through some ideas of what to say. But one of the things I love most about Pete is that he is not me. He has his own way of seeing things, and doing things, and in Adaliah’s case on Sunday, he was just going to let her sink or swim up there in front of hundreds of people.

Adaliah sat on the stand and waited for it to be her turn.  When the time came she stepped up on the stool and reached up to pull the microphone down.  Then loud and clear my little three year old started, “I want to bare my testimony…” and then she was silent. My heart sank. I was so scared for her as she looked out into our huge congregation with no words. Then finally what seemed like hours later her little voice continued, “I know the gospel is real. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen”. Then she stepped off her stool and ran down the steps into her dads arms feeling so proud of herself.

I learned a lot in those few minutes at church. First of all, I need to have more faith and confidence in my children. Hopefully Adaliah looked out to see Pete’s proud smiling face to reassure her and not my horrified face to fill her with doubt.
But more than that, I sat and thought about her short brief testimony for the rest of the meeting.  “I know the gospel is real…” 

The gospel IS real. I know that is true. I know that Christ lived on the earth and that he died for me.  I know that Joseph Smith saw what he said he did in the sacred grove. I know that’s real.  I know the gold plates he translated into the Book of Mormon are real and the Book of Mormon is true and good. I know the strength that that book gives me every time I open it is real. I know the priesthood power that was restored to this earth is real. I know our Prophet today, Thomas S. Monson is really called from God. I know that’s real.

I know that the joy that living the gospel brings is real. It floods our home with peace, security, comfort, and love. Our home is far from perfect but it is a sanctuary from the world, a safe haven to raise my children in.  I know that’s real.

Adaliah is only three years old, and she knows the gospel is real because we have told her that.  I know that with time and through her own experiences she’ll know it’s real not just because we said so, but because she can feel it too. 

I love having these little spirits in my home to remind me daily of what is really important and what life is really about. It's easy for the spirit to fill our home when it's full of beautiful little girls that I know are loved and watched over by their Heavenly Father. Beautiful little girls that were chosen for this day and time for a reason. I am blessed. 

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Thursday, September 26, 2013

It's true- girl #3!

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