I always have the most uplifting conversations with one of my greatest friends. One days she was telling me that she wanted to be a better mother for her 5 beautiful children, so she was praying every night "to forget." The words rang true to my ears when I heard them, but I never knew how powerful the ability "to forget" could be until I prayed for it myself.
After a few long weeks of sickness in the home (whinny kids, little sleep, cabin fever) I found myself being a kind of mother that I didn't want to be. Why was I so quick to be upset? I knew my kids just wanted my attention. Why was giving them the attention they needed so hard? I felt like I was failing. My kids didn't deserve a distracted and angry mother that was so quick to yell, and too busy to play.
So after much praying (or pleading) with the Lord, it came. The ability to forget.
I would wake up in the morning and instead of a million "to-do" lists formulating in my head, all I could think about was my beautiful girls. When I sat to play puzzles with Adaliah, I didn't remember there was a long list of people I needed to call back, or that there was a load in the dryer that needed to be folded. When Adaliah said she wanted to go to the park, I couldn't think of a reason in the world why it wasn't a good idea. I forgot that I hadn't scrubbed the toilet that week or mopped the floor. When Elizabeth fell asleep in my arms, I forgot where my phone was so instead of checking e-mails and surfing the web I just sat and watched her sleep and thought about the day she was born and how much she's grown in the last 9 months. When we got in the car to run errands- Adaliah asked if we could go to the Dinosaur Museum instead. I forgot why it was important I go to the bank that day- it could wait for tomorrow right?
Obviously we cant always live in this state. As mothers we must carry on with our duties or everything falls apart. There will be no clean clothes, no food in the fridge, no dinner on the table, bills are not payed, there is no toilet paper on the roll when you need it, kids are stinky, the house is messy, important meetings and appointments are missed, lessons are not planned....
But being blessed with just a few days of forgetting... my soul fills renewed. I'm not failing as a mother. I just need to forget more often- even if its for just one or two hours a day. I need to forget about everything in the world but how much I love my girls, and how much I love being their mother.
